Sometimes... there just isn't a graceful way to accurately (nor properly) describe something. We take you to the University of Kentucky, where Cory Johnson talks to Alan Cutler on LEX18 about his fluctuating weight.
"I be 290, and next thing I know I'll be 300. The next day I'll be 280. So my weight is flexible. It goes on its own." Johnson goes on to say that "I guess cause I poop so much. I try to poop like five times a day... three times a day. It's hard to keep weight when you have so much going out." At that point, Alan Cutler calls it quits.
You may now continue with your day.