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Breaking Bad Mock Draft (Parody)

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With the spinoff series Better Call Saul under way, let's look at a mock draft for the characters of the highest-rated TV show of all time.

AMC's serial drama Breaking Bad is the highest-rated TV show of all time, according to Metacritic and the Guinness Book of World Records, as well as IMDB. The one essential moral of the show is "for better or for worse, the choices you make will always have consequences."

Creator Vince Gilligan has made a spinoff show, Better Call Saul, which premiered February 8. Breaking Bad has been so successful that Better Call Saul has already vaulted to the number two spot in IMDB's all-time rankings. Gilligan's two shows are sitting high and mighty on top of other popular dramas such as Game of Thrones, The Wire, Sherlock, The Sopranos, House of Cards, and Dexter. Records are made to be broken, but until then, TV will never see a show as highly rated as Breaking Bad.

1. Tampa Bay

Gus Fring, QB

As an incoming rookie, Gus already has the best pocket presence in the league. Not only does he performs well under pressure, he embraces it. This is evidenced by his willingness to walk into the line of fire of a deadly sniper, as well as intentionally poison himself. He has a bit of an ego, which can be his downfall, but Tom Brady has a big ego too and has been very successful.

2. Tennessee

Walter White, QB

Walt has many similar traits as Fring, but is a bit more raw of a prospect. He does have high upside and the ability to develop himself up to (and even beyond) the level of Fring. However, he may never match Fring's pocket presence, as Walt has sometimes been shown to crumble under pressure and act without thinking or looking closely.

3. Jacksonville

Mike Ehrmantraut, LB

Jacksonville needs a better pass-rush, and Mike is a pro's pro. While he has age concerns, he is a grizzled veteran who knows he is paid to do a job that he will get done at any costs - in this case, sacking the QB - with no half measures.

4. Oakland

Tyrus Kitt, WR

Oakland loves physically talented receivers, and Tyrus fits the bill. He's tall and athletic, and would be a nightmare for just about anyone who decides to match up against him. His dead-eye stare alone could beat the opposition.

5. Washington

Walter White Jr., OT

Washington desperately needs OL help, and Junior would be a surprisingly welcome addition. On many snaps throughout the game, after getting knocked over, he will draw a 15-yard unnecessary roughness penalty due to sympathy from the refs.

6. New York Jets

Victor, WR

The Jets don't have a #1 WR, and Victor could potentially be one. He shares a lot of the same traits as Tyrus.  Victor can be a little bit of a self-centered diva sometimes, which can be his downfall, but so are many other top receivers, especially in New York.

7. Chicago

Huell Babineaux, NT

The Bears are reportedly switching to a 3-4, and they don't have an NT currently on their roster. Huell is intimidating and would be a nightmare for the opposing OL. The team will have to put up with him eating and napping throughout meetings, practices, on the sideline, maybe even occasionally on the field during a game - but he'll be a monster whenever he is awake and focused. He also has deceptively adept hands, which would come in handy for swiping the ball from the running back and creating a turnover.

8. Atlanta

Tuco Salamanca, DE

Atlanta needs upgrading at DL, and Tuco would be a troubling match up for the opposing OT. Tuco wouldn't need to use any particularly clever moves to win the match up - he could just beat up and knock over the guy. Atlanta would have to be a little worried about Tuco incurring penalties for that, though.

9. New York Giants

Clovis, OT

The Giants need OL help to protect Eli Manning. Clovis is a big, strong dude who doesn't mess around.

10. St. Louis

Todd Alquist, TE

The Rams could use an extra TE. Todd is a high-upside prospect who is a studious learner of the game. He has shown numerous times that he is extremely skilled with his hands. Perhaps most importantly, he has an innate "killer" instinct to punish the opposition, seemingly like Rob Gronkowski.

11. Minnesota

Gonzo, OG

Minnesota had one of the worst offensive lines in the league, so they'll take just about anyone they can get. Gonzo clearly has the physical upside, and as long as he doesn't spend his free time in automobile salvage yards, he should be fine.

12. Cleveland

Gale Boetticher, QB

After just one year, Cleveland already knows that Johnny Manziel cannot possibly be the answer. By using the logic that someone with a totally opposite personality can be the answer, they go with the kind, sensitive, harmless Gale. In some ways, Gale clearly resembles Walt. But he falls fundamentally short in other areas, so he'll likely join the long line of Cleveland QB busts.

13. New Orleans

Gaff, S

So far, Kenny Vaccaro is a bust, so New Orleans wants to upgrade. Gaff has proven himself as an enforcer with great vision and the potential for ball skills.

14. Miami

Emilio Koyama, CB

The Dolphins' secondary is pretty bad, so they'll take just about anyone they can get. Though Emilio surely fails the drug testing portion of the combine, the Dolphins fall in love with him because of his incredible speed - nearly outrunning a mini-army of DEA agents.

15. San Francisco

Skinny Pete, WR

The 49ers are really hurting for WR depth, with Anquan Bolding aging, Michael Crabtree likely gone, and Stevie Johnson under-performing. Like they did with A.J. Jenkins in 2012, the 49ers massively reach at this position again. Skinny Pete is a skillful pianist and thus has some upside with his hands. Plus, his general vibe and the way he lives his life would fit in well with the city of San Francisco.

16. Houston

Hank Schrader, C

The Texans grab their C of the future to eventually replace Chris Myers. Hank has a mean streak and great intangibles, so he's a very good pick at this juncture. His general vibe and the way he lives his life would fit in well with the state of Texas.

17. San Diego

Don Eladio, RB

With Ryan Mathews possibly gone, San Diego doesn't have a bell cow back. Don Eladio's brawny physique and intimidating personality give the impression that he could go for 25 carries, 120 yards and 2 TDs on any given Sunday.

18. Kansas City

Leonel and Marco Salamanca, S

With Eric Berry's unfortunate situation, the Chiefs could use a couple new starting safeties. They get an incredible deal with the cousins, who are always a package deal. Leonel and Marco would form a ruthless tandem in the defensive backfield.

19. Cleveland

Tio Salamanca, OT

Cleveland needs to upgrade Mitchell Schwartz at right tackle. They do what the Redskins did with Walter Jr., and choose someone who will surely gain sympathy with the refs in terms of drawing penalties. Also, the Browns could create a sort of Morse code for his ringing bell as part of the play-calling on offense, thus confusing the defense.

20. Philadelphia

Krazy-8, CB

Krazy-8 is a pest. Whether alive (or dead), he (or his body) continually causes problems. He has shown decent movement, being able to temporarily evade a moving car even under extremely stressing conditions. So he could potentially be a pest of a CB. The Eagles will take just about anyone, because they are really hurting for CB depth.

21. Cincinnati

Jack Welker, LB

The Bengals need to greatly upgrade their pass-rush, and they get a great pick in Jack, who is essentially a more grizzled version of Todd.

22. Pittsburgh

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle, S

Pittsburgh needs to replace Troy Polamalu either now or very soon. Lydia isn't intimidating on the outside, but like Todd, she really does have a "killer" instinct on the inside. Plus, she has excellent vision, spotting DEA-planted GPS trackers in seemingly hidden places.

23. Detroit

Combo Ortega, DT

Detroit has two high-profile DT's hitting free agency, and they will probably keep only one at most. Combo has the physical upside to replace whoever leaves.

24. Arizona

Steve Gomez, LB

Steve is a no-nonsense, hard-hitting team player who can potentially fill the gaping need the Cardinals have at LB.

25. Carolina

Saul Goodman, gadget player

Carolina is really hurting for WR depth. Though Saul doesn't have the best physical attributes, he can chat it up with the opposition and be a gadget player who can get out of sticky situations, as he has shown time and time again. Off the field, he could find dirt on opposing organizations, and strong-arm them into rigging the games.

26. Baltimore

Marie Schrader, CB

Baltimore could certainly use a CB. Marie doesn't have many redeeming qualities, but she has been particularly skillful at stealing things throughout her life. Maybe that could translate to stealing the ball? She'd certainly love wearing the Ravens' purple uniforms.

27. Dallas

Ted Beneke, S

Dallas could use secondary depth. Though Ted has the physique, he has shown a penchant for hiding from, or even running away from, difficult situations. So he's a bit of a work in progress.

28. Denver

Tortuga, LB

Denver needs upgrading at LB. Tortuga is fairly well-built physically. Plus, he's a hard hitter - an amputated version of him has been able to take out several DEA agents in one blow.

29. Indianapolis

Jesse Pinkman, RB

The Colts clearly could use RB depth. Jesse is obviously more of a scat back than a bell cow back. Of everyone in the draft, he scored the worst in the drug testing portion of the combine. But he has about the right size and speed, and if he puts his mind to something and is taught correctly, he can become one of the best in the world at it.

30. Green Bay

Old Joe, S

Joe has major age concerns. But he's extremely cerebral and has all the intangibles down. He's reliable, and when given seemingly impossible tasks, has always come through. He was also able to impressively stonewall Hank Schrader. His no-nonsense, all-business mentality seems to fit well with the city of Green Bay.

31. Seattle

Badger, RB

Badger is a project with major red flags, but he's a good fit for the culture of Seattle.

32. New England

Patrick Kuby, WR

This is an obvious pick. The Pats could still use some help at WR, and Kuby is from New England.