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Colin Cowherd argues Hall of Fame for Carson Palmer

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Cincinnati Bengals v Arizona Cardinals Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images

Yes.

Colin Cowherd is presenting an argument that Carson Palmer deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. “Carson Palmer to me is a Hall of Famer. It’s close. It could go either way like Philip Rivers but I think they’re both Hall of Famers. I’ll give you an example. What if Carson Palmer had Bill Belichick...”

Alright, I’m stopping here. “What if” never serves a purpose; it barely makes sense to use “what if” when hitting on someone at the local pub. “Ken Anderson would be a Hall of Fame quarterback had he played in Oakland, or Dallas, worked out six times a week, not five, and had his right toe amputated.” But he didn’t. And he’s not in the Hall of Fame, but not for those reasons. He played in Cincinnati. There is no alternate universe chip to apply here.

Anyway, Palmer singlehandedly saved USC and the “dysfunctional Bengals”. He singlehandedly improved the Raiders to 8-8 and saved the Arizona Cardinals. “What if Carson Palmer inherited Bill Belichick,” the shockingly sober Cowherd asks, “instead four messes he had to clean up.” Cowherd strangely failed to acknowledge Carson Palmer singlehandedly solving hunger, Rambo’ing all terrorists into the dirt, improving all NFL ratings, and solving the Flint water crisis (yes, THAT is actually still a problem).

“Compare him to who you want,” Cowherd said with a masturbatory glint in his eye, “but do you know who he looks like, sounds like, throws like, and built like? He’s Troy Aikman.”

(Fuck me)

We’re not going to make a serious argument why Carson Palmer is NOT a Hall of Famer. OK, maybe a little argument:

  • No league MVP awards.
  • A 1-4 record in the playoffs, but soundly defeated 49-14 in the conference championship where Palmer threw four interceptions and lost two fumbles. Over the course of his playoff career, Palmer has thrown seven picks and three fumbles.
  • Palmer has never led the league in yards or passer rating, but he DID lead the NFL in touchdowns (2005), and interceptions (2007).
  • No first-team all-pro awards.
  • Three Pro Bowls (in a 14 year career).
  • Thrown for 30 touchdowns or more only twice.
  • Too tired from saving franchises.
  • Didn’t have Bill Belichick.

Carson Palmer is a fine quarterback, but he’s not a Hall of Famer. Put it this way, if Ken Anderson isn’t in the Hall of Fame by now, then Carson Palmer has no business being there either.