5 things to keep in mind for Ravens Bengals this Sunday - Smack edition

Division hate. The purest kind. This week the Bengals play a bunch of guys prancing around in purple. These men happen to be the defending Super Bowl champions but are playing like a bottom 25% team. Let's hope the Bengals handle their business and hand out a whipping to the former champs.

While enjoying Giovani Bernard cutting highlight reels against the porous Ravens D, I have put together 5 things to keep in mind about the Baltimore Ravens.

1. The Ravens hate Lesbians - These women (a couple) were ejected from a Ravens game for being a couple.

While waiting for their orders, the couple engaged in what Marchetto characterized as "casual kissing." Almost immediately, she said, a security guard and a supervisor told the women to "stop making a scene." They were warned three times but continued because, according to Marchetto, "the kissing was heartfelt and decent in the real sense and was not any different from what numerous law-abiding straight couples were doing all around us."

2. Art Modell - Art Modell wanted to build or improve the stadium in Cleveland and like many owners wanted the public to pay for it. After creating a public campaign to encourage the citizens to want to pony up cash for the stadium improvements, meetings were set up to discuss how the funding would proceed. All the while, Art had been in secret conversations with Baltimore to move the team. So several days before the financing meetings were to take place Art moved the team to Baltimore essentially ripping the hearts out of Cleveland Browns fans.
Also, this moron fired Paul Brown.

3. The Ravens logo - You know what is dumber than a cartoon Ravens head? A shield with some wings coming out of it. You know what is dumber than that? Stealing that design from some night security guard and then denying it.

For the first two years of their existence, the Baltimore Ravens made a ton of money off a design they stole. The artist, Frederick E. Bouchat, sued and won in court but was given no monetary compensation.

4. Ray Lewis - The Ravens want a statue of Ray Lewis outside their stadium. Ray Lewis was accused of murder and was found guilty of obstructing justice in a murder case. Soon after he was crowned the Super Bowl MVP. The Bengals are constantly chided by Ravens fans for the moral character of their players. However, Baltimore gives this guy a pass. But WhoDeyFans, the murder excuse is old and played out you say? OK, how about this:

• In 1998 the Baltimore Sun profiled Lewis as a family man who learned from his terrible childhood. They claim he is not violent and is a good guy off the field. He is humble and hopes to be a preacher some day. To this I say bullshit.
• Your family man was taken to court in 1997 to obtain child support for his children. What kind of family man is taken to court to pay for the well being of his kids?
• Your hero not wanting to repeat the struggle of his childhood was again taken to court in 1998 and sued for child support from another woman to support a baby girl he had with her. She was awarded the judgment as well as back payments.
• Ray is a non violent person off the field. I guess except for in college when he hit and grabbed two former girlfriends (both pregnant). Then in 1999 when he was again accused of hitting another woman (again pregnant). I guess he is friendly unless you are a pregnant woman.
• The humble player also refers to himself in the third person and assembled an entourage that rides around in a black Lincoln Navigator Limo. You know, the same vehicle described in the Super Bowl stabbing incident.
• Lastly, I guess many future preachers are also stars in sexually explicit videos with strip club promoters.

5. Baltimore as a city is terrible - This is pulled directly from the site AreaVibes.

Baltimore has often been compared to New York City. Unfortunately it is New York City circa 1985, when strung out Drag Queens ruled the night. Baltimore is a great place to live, if you love rampant drug use, violent crime and cops on every corner.

A major problem with Baltimore is that for many years the streets have been flooded with hard drugs. Particularly heroin, enough to make Keith Richards blush in his prime. Unlike other big cities where heroin use has declined steadily, in Baltimore it remains prevalent. In fact, there were more than 200 deaths by heroin overdose in 2009 alone, and in a recent report the DEA cited Baltimore as home to more heroin addicts and incidents of heroin related crime than any other city in America.
Because it is difficult for heroin addicts to find jobs as accountants or librarians, most turn to crime to get a fix. The violent crime index is 360% greater than the national average, and the property crime index is 54% greater. In response to this level of crime there are over 3,600 police officers in Baltimore, or 5.8 officers per 1,000 residents (105.8% greater than the national average). A cop on every corner is not a good sign, unless you happen to be a diehard fan of the Village People.

Enjoy the game.