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The hilarity of an NFL status report

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The Cincinnati Bengals, like every NFL team, usually show borderline paranoia when it comes to providing information. There's no possible way that A.J. Green and Marvin Jones play, yet they're listed as questionable. We laugh.

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Lol.

That was my reaction while reading the team's final status report on Friday. Well, I didn't actually say "LOL", nor did I untwist the meaning of an acronym with deep complexity.

Marvin Jones and A.J. Green are "questionable." Can you believe it? That's what it said.

Who are they kidding? The Panthers? You don't think Carolina is capable of reading through the lines. "We'll trickies them," Lewis says clutching his golden ring.

Jones, who hurt his ankle two Mondays ago (a new injury), didn't practice all week. A.J. Green is sporting a stylish boot after re-aggravating his toe on Wednesday. He was listed on the team's official practice report as limited, but his participation during Wednesday's practice was a stretch, a sigh, two throws (one shoe and one helmet) and a cart ride to the lockerroom.

An upbeat Marvin Lewis said "It's a good thing" on Friday, hearing that Green was day-to-day. "The sky didn't fall."

"It's day to day is what I was told today, which is a good thing," Lewis said via Cincinnati Enquirer. "He's feeling good. It's positive."

Bull...

Not only are multiple reports declaring Green out this Sunday, one report suggests that they're not even sure what to do right now.

Green met with a foot specialist Thursday. Although a report surfaced Friday saying that Green won't need surgery, apparently the club is still trying to determine what needs to be done. He is scheduled for another consult next week as the Bengals try to find out if it’s a short- or long-term problem and how long it's going to be day-to-day.

Get ready for Mohamed Sanu, Brandon Tate, Dane Sanzenbacher and James Wright joining Giovani Bernard and Jeremy Hill. Oh, and maybe Jermaine Gresham will want to show up. This is, after all, a contract year and a fantastic opportunity to make big-money impressions.

And it might be something to be prepared for this weekend, next weekend and the weekend after that. Wright better become a threat in a hurry. Like Gresham, Tate and Sanzenbacher may not have a greater opportunity for, maybe, the rest of their respective careers.

Lewis was a big more cautious in his perspective on Kevin Zeitler, who hasn't played since the regular season opener. Zeitler was limited on Wednesday but sat on Thursday and Friday.

"I don't know, we'll see how he feels," Lewis said via the Enquirer. "We got some time before the weekend we will see how he is. He went out and got some of the soreness out which is good. It's just a matter of whether he progresses to be able to play games right now."